


you were beautiful

by faeryracha



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, but also fluffy, idk how to tag, im sorry huhuhu, this is so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeryracha/pseuds/faeryracha
Summary: In which you're chilling in one of JYP's organic café when Bang Chan himself chose to seat in the vacant seat in front of you."why are you staring?"
Relationships: Bang Chan/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	you were beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> I actually posted this fic in twitter as word vomit but now I actually got around to rewrite it and post it here. thank you for those who inspired me to write.

It’s late at night when Bang Chan found himself craving to have some of that organic coffee at the café just right below of the JYP Building. He was running on finalizing the composition of their songs tonight while everyone went home to rest. It’s just one of those nights which he stayed up really late at the company. It was also a Saturday which meant he gets to spend time with Stays from all around the world to come into his vlive.

Convinced that he needed the caffeine if he doesn’t want to doze off during work, (which he highly thinks would happen since his insomnia had been strong these days) he goes on his journey downstairs. He still needed that extra energy.

Surprisingly the café wasn’t that packed. He figured that most of the employee must have went home already. It wasn’t like it’s very late, but it was late enough for people to go home. Chan made his way to the counter and ordered himself a cup of coffee. He didn’t buy anything else to come with the coffee since he wasn’t really that hungry to get one. He looks around and there are at least three people in the café including him. Which meant there were a lot of seats unoccupied.

But the again, Chan found himself sitting across from you in another table. You had your eyes closed and big headphones wrapped your ears. You have that serene look on your face, listening deeply to the song that was playing. Cappuccino, and a slice of chocolate cheesecake untouched. You’re just sitting there lulling to the sound of music blasting from your headphones. Chan found this amusing because he would’ve thought you were asleep if it wasn’t for the way your face’s emotion gradually changing to the feel of the song you were listening to. In fact, much to Chan’s surprise and delight, you mouthed silently the lyrics of the song and found out that you were listening to Voices, which is one of the many song Chan has produced for his group. Chan was enamored enough with the thought that you might be a Stay.

To his shock, tears started to trick down on your cheeks when the last chorus of Voices played through your headphones. You reveled in stillness as the song fades to its end. Heart in sync to the beat of the music, the last line in which Felix says, ‘there’s so many voices’ feeling you up to your very core. Whereas calm from the high of a very well written song, Chan was at a loss for words. He didn’t a song that he produce could give out such a strong wave of emotions to someone enough for them to cry. This was the first time he saw someone cry with a song that he wrote.

You wiped your tear stained face and removed the headphones from your head. Chan noticed that you still haven’t acknowledged his presence even when he was already shamelessly staring at you. When you finally regained conscious of your surroundings you were flabbergasted to find that Chan. The ‘Bang Chan’ who produced dozens of your favorite songs. The leader of your favorite band, Stray Kids.

You gazed at him dumbly, still unsure how to make out of this situation you were in. You suppress a gasp from leaving your body when a realization downed on you. You realized you just cried in front of ‘Bang Chan’. He found you in your most vulnerable state and quite frankly you’re very embarrassed. I mean, just your luck to literally be in front of your idol and cry to your midlife crisis. But still you gave a little mental pat on your back for remaining calm in front of the man you idolize.

Still dazed and hesitant to believe that it really is the Bang Chan that’s in front of you, you blinked a couple of times to see if he would disappear. But it only felt like you were clowning yourself because it really is him, in the flesh. Even if you blinked a hundred timed. You can’t even think to believe that the man in front of you was just the man you were watching in vlive earlier, which you disgustingly cooed at and thought of just how godsent he was. How the fuck, right? That’s the exact thought. There’s no absolute way that he’s real. You felt like you want to scream and fangirl a little, nut just kept it to yourself because you didn’t want to scare him.

You really didn’t think that there’s a possibility for you to run into him. And it was quite late. You just wanted to get a glimpse of the café that your idols frequently visit and check out one of your bucket lists. And this, albeit being one in your bucket list was something you thought was far-fetched to happen. But still, that’s two that you got to do tonight.

Chan kept his cool when he saw the recognition that crossed your face when you noticed him. Unknown to you for a moment you looked like you were going to freak out, but he was glad when you didn’t and you relaxed in your seat.

“W-why are you staring?” you breathed out. Oh, what courage you had to say that.

“Uh, I, uhm.” His face was all flustered and his ears started to turn red. It was a sight to see the man you idolize to get flustered around someone like you.

“Who are you?” you pretended you didn’t know him.

He looked at you confused and a little disappointment was evident on his face. You almost wanted to take it back.

“I’m Bang Chan,” he says and offers you his dimpled smile anyway.

You hoped he didn’t know that you were literally just jamming to one of their songs.

Chan stood up from his seat and you thought he was going to leave when he walked towards your table. “Do you mind if I joined you?” he asked with that warm inducing smile of his and with that you couldn’t say no.

But yourself just really had to say, “Well that depends.”

“Depends on what?” he asks.

“If y-you’re going to…” you looked for an excuse and your eyes lit up and grabbed the book you brought with you, you held it up,” … to be loud.”

He let out a chuckle that chuckle he does that makes you go weak in the knees. Fuck, you’ve only seen and heard that on screen and yet here you are getting to see it in real and it’s the most vibrant thing you’ve ever heard.

“I won’t. I promise,” he says and took the seat on front of you.

You could only nod with how flustered you are.

Minutes has passed as you both sit in comfortable silence basking in the white noise that your surroundings offered. Him fiddling on his phone and you, reading the book you brought. You began to feel anxious. You obviously want to talk to him. Because believe it or not, the chances of you to ever have this kind of interaction is one in a million. You wanted to tell how much you appreciate him with sounding too much of fangirl, which is a lot harder to do.

Funny enough, your phone buzzed from an alarm that said you have to take your medicines. Only it was too late to realize that your alarm ringtone was set to Chan saying, ‘Like mate, stop procrastinating’. It lit up your phone and it showed a picture of Chan. Oh, just great.

Anxiety filled up your chest and you stumbled at turning off the goddamn device. The alarm was LOUD. When your phone was safely tucked away, you couldn’t look directly at Chan’s face in fear of the reaction that adorned his face. Right now, you’re just glad that there weren’t many people right now in the café or you would’ve further embarrassed yourself.

And then it was silent. Awkward silence filled the air around you both. You can practically hear the ‘caw caw caw’ from the back of your head mocking you. The silence grew and it was Chan who broke it by laughing which made you laugh in return too. Well, shit. At least he found the situation funny.

“That! That was your ringtone?” he says in mid-laugh.

“Y-yes,” you embarrassingly responded.

“I’m sorry if I pretended that I didn’t know you,” says you.

“No, it’s okay,” he said.

“I am Yu,” you said in English.

Chan raised an eyebrow in confusion. You laughed at his reaction. You’ve always imagined saying that pun to them ever since I Am You was released, and you did. Wow, another cross from your bucket list.

“My name’s Nam Yu,” you clarified.

Chan laughed finally catching up on with the pun.

Just like that, the conversation between you and Chan started to flow easily. He asked you if you were a Stay in which you responded with a yes. You even told him that you were a fan from even before then when it was only him and the rest of 3RACHA. Almost immediately the both of you got along so much that it was almost impossible for you both to run out of things to talk about especially when you found the it interesting how some of your views were different in a way it helped you both to be more understanding of each other’s stance.

Time passed with the both of you talking back and forth about anything under the sun. Chan thinks you’re very amusing and even finds himself enthralled with the way you talk so passionately about music and the arts, or just anything you find that you’re passionate about. It was such a sight to see for him. Especially when your eyes would shine and start to speak in volumes no words could even describe.

When you told you started feeling a little bit hot inside the café, he suggested a walk in the nearby park in which you even jokingly said, “You’re not some kind of murderer, are you?” to which turned to a friendly banter. Chan’s plans of going back to the recording room now long forgotten. All Chan could think about was the feeling of being with you at that moment. It felt like a breath of fresh air in the constant buzz of his busy life.

“You could get caught by the media you know. Are you sure?” you asked.

Chan felt like living right in this moment so he shrugged. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

He drove you both to the nearby park as you play Hoodie Season from your phone. It was one of your favorite tracks from predebut.

Walking in the park to find a good place to sit at, the both of you started a chain of asking questions back and forth. “What’s your favorite b-side track in Miroh?” you asked. It’s their newly released album and you wanted to know.

“Maze of Memories, you”

You took a few seconds before answering, “Chronosaurus,” you said. You complimented Chan on how the song really embodied how it feels like to be chased by time. You didn’t even think a song could make you feel that way.

You can relate heavily to Chronosaurus these days. How time feels like a monster chasing you. It seemed like that even now. Even more so. It was at this moment right now that you want time to slow down, all you wanted to do was hide from the time beast chasing you down. Maybe even leave frozen this time you have with Chan.

Finding the right spot where stars could be easily spotted and the breeze of the trees comforting you in a way, everything felt calm.

It’s Chan’s turn to ask the question now. He had this question that his been meaning to ask ever since he saw you and it seemed like it was the right moment to ask, “Why were you crying earlier?”

“Your music and its lyrics always make me tear up,” you smiled, “in a good way of course,” you said.

“I-I was crying because the voices were too much today,” you added.

“What did it say?” he asked.

“They said I should give up. There was no point in running anymore. But I ran away anyway,” you said.

Did it even make sense? You thought.

“And it sucks because in the long run, it’s the truth. I won’t be here any longer. How can you step of them voices if those voices are the reality?”

Basking in comfortable silence it seemed like there was some kind of mutual understanding. All your senses focused on the way your shoulders brushed against each other that sends warmth everywhere, and somehow it was enough. The depth was greater than any words for comfort.

The stars shone so brightly and you wished that the shallowing in your chest would stop for even just another minute. Your gaze fell back to Chan who you didn’t notice was staring at you the whole time. A pink tint started dust your face as you realized that Chan had been staring at you so intently.

Soft like the blowing wind, “I should be getting back,” you said.

“I’ll drive you,” he said. You didn’t want to. But could you really say no?

“Okay.”

Like he said, he drove you while you navigated him to where you live. He was shocked and confused to say the least when you gave him directions to the hospital nearby.

“So, you live around nearby?” he asked. You shrugged. You didn’t exactly know what to tell him that your home is the hospital.

“I guess you could say that. So, this is goodbye then?” you said as you hopped of the car.

“I’ll… come with you,” he says. Again, you didn’t want to but something was telling you to let him and you did. You let him tail you from behind.

You both entered the hospital and immediately you were crowded by familiar nurses.

“Nam Yu! Where did you go? God! You’re already past your medicine intake. Let’s get you back to your hospital room. Are you okay? Can you breathe?” the nurses buzzed around you and all you could do was look back at Chan apologetically at the sight.

Chan followed behind you as the nurses put you back to your private room. Chan just watched as the nurses and finally a doctor plugged you in a bunch of machines at same time while checking your vitals.

Chan was still highly confused and unruly thoughts plagued him.

After they stabilized your condition and found nothing too life-threatening one nurse was left and she came out for Chan to talk to him.

“Thank you for bringing her back. I knew Yu didn’t want to,” the nurse said to Chan.

“Is Yu going to be okay?” Chan asked.

“Yu’s going to be… okay,” the nurse said hesitantly.

Chan didn’t catch the tone in the nurse’s tone.

“You can go in. It’s usually not allowed since it’s not visiting hours anymore, but I’ll let you guys be,” the nurse said and left.

Chan entered your room. “Hey,” he says.

“What a contrast in the way you met me earlier, huh?” you chuckled.

“Nah, you still look like Yu,” he said making it obvious he used your name as a pun.

You shook you head at him, a ghost of a smile lingering on your lips.

Chan sat beside you, “So, what’s all this?”

“I’m sick.”

“How sick?” he asked. It didn’t make the tightening in your chest any better.

“Like terminal sick, like soon-to-be dead sick,” you said.

It was quiet again. But Chan has now found his way to your hand fiddling with it. It was the one that wasn’t connected to an IV.

“This might be a weird favor. You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you said breaking the silence.

He chuckles. What could possibly be more bizarre than this?

“What is it?”

“Can you cuddle me?”

You didn’t have to say it twice. Chan moved to a position where your comfortable enough to be spooned, to your surprise.

“That’s not weird,” he says.

“Is it not?” you asked. “I’m literally a stranger asking you to cuddle me. A very sick person,” you added.

“No, I believe you’re you.”

_____

Days passed and you didn’t really think you’d see Chan again. It still felt like a pipe dream that you met Bang Chan, so it didn’t affect you that much and just agreed that it was just all a dream. But what you should have expected was a Bang Chan standing on the door way of your private room holding two tubs of Ice Cream.

“You’re h-here...?” you didn’t feel too sure.

“I am,” he says and smiled holding up the two vanilla flavored ice cream.

“How did you know that I like Vanilla?” you asked.

He scrunched up his face, “You also like rocky road. But there wasn’t any,” he says

“Wow that doesn’t sound like you did a little digging about me at all, but whatever,” you said with a smile and took the ice cream from his hand.

“You don’t seem upset with me so I’m good,” he says.

You laughed, “Why would I be upset?”

“Because it took me days to visit you again?”

Eyebrows furrowed but you were really smiling inside, “I wasn’t really expecting anything,” you said.

“Well, now you’re going to have to,” he says.

“Why is that?” you asked.

“Because I’ll be here now. Always.”

‘You’ve always been with me’. You wanted to tell him. But you didn’t.

True to his words Chan visited you almost everyday ever since his last visit. You appreciated him a lot since then and it made your heart flutter. He always brought your favorites every time her visited. From then on, the both of you started exchange messages.

**Chan** ❤:

I’ll head there soon

**Yu** ✩:

What did you get me this time?

That’s a secret

Okay

You don’t want to know??

You said it’s a secret :p

The sudden urge to tell you. Wow

Isn’t it supposed to be a secret?

You suck at this Bang.

Okay

I’m almost there

See u soon

WERE YOU DRIVING?!

AND TEXTING?!

YOU BETTER NOT.

I wasn’t!!! I swear

Okayy

_read._

You heard the door to your hospital room open and in walked Bang Chan and the happy grin on his face.

“Hey,” he says, a silly excited smile plastered on his face.

“Hey you too,” you greeted him.

You looked at him confused, “Why are you smiling like that?” you looked around to what he might be hiding. “What? No sweets? What’s the secret surprise you were talking about?”

When you said that he got all giggly which was adorable and all but you had to restrain yourself from giving him the biggest cheek pinching in the world.

“Sooooooooo,” he said.

“What?” you asked. ‘I can’t stand him. He’s such a tease.’

“I remember you telling me that you like Day6, right?” he asked.

“Okayy? I did say that.”

He took out an envelope from his pocket and dangled it in front of your face. “I got us tickets in a Day6 concert! Even a backstage pass!”

You smiled at the way his excited face lit up. “Really? But I’m stuck here, remember?”

“I got permission to take you out,” he says.

“What? You did? When? How did you do that?” you asked.

“We’re taking two nurses with us, though,” he says.

You squealed, “WAIT? ARE YOU REALLY SERIOUS?”

He nodded happily at your reaction.

You pulled him into a hug and just like that, Chan took you to Day6’s concert the next day.

_____

It’s been a week since the concert and you haven’t heard from Chan himself. Of course, you’re updated with their activities and schedules. Life as an idol is never easy. You of all understood that. So, when Chan didn’t text or call for a week, it didn’t bother you. You knew he always comes through with his words.

4 weeks.

However, you started to give up any form of contact from him. You’re… heartbroken. But still, you waited. Waited for him.

Meanwhile Chan, Chan was purposely avoiding you. The memories of you together during the Day6 concert started replaying to his head. He remembered how beautiful your smile was that day… and he couldn’t forget it. The way you reached out for his hand and held it the entire time had his heart sky rocketing with happiness. It’s unlike he’s ever felt before.

There was no major reason for him to avoid you. There wasn’t a fight. No, nothing happened between the two of you to spark this sudden decision of avoidance. No. nothing like that. It was just… feelings.

Chan realized he’s harboring feelings for you and it wasn’t longer in a friendly way. The way his gaze lingers longer on your face than it was meant to, the way he always have the urge to hold your hand, how his attention always draws him to you when you’re around almost too naturally, or how his heart was a little jealous with the way you looked and interacted with his sunbaenims, it made a little fury inside his chest when somebody else was making you laugh like that. The way he’s all feeling this was exhilarating on its own. And he’s afraid.

That’s when he realized that he’s beginning to fall inlove with you. And it broke him.

“Hyung?” Changbin entered the room.

“Yeah, I’m about done Changbin. I’ll catch up with you guys later,” says Chan.

Changbin sat in front of Chan. Face serious. “You’re not going to get anything done. You’re distracted.”

“No, I’ll finish this tonight,” Chan said almost monotonously.

Changbin heaved a sigh. “We know you’re not okay, Chan.”

Chan stopped fiddling with his laptop and finally looked at Changbin. “So, you took one from the team and sent you here to drag me home?”

“Hyung—I, no. They didn’t. But they’re just as worried as I am,” he says.

Chan sighed, “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong? Tell me. We’re worried,” says Changbin. “Does this have to do with the person who you’ve been visiting for the past two months?”

“w-what?” Chan stuttered, shocked at Changbin’s words. How did he know?

“You’re really not that subtle about hiding it.”

There was no use in lying to Changbin. So, Chan told him everything.

“You’re stupid,” Changbin says afterwards.

“What?!”

“You really are. So, you’re telling me all this right now instead of being with this Nam Yu person because you’re scared of a contract? That’s stupid. Even I think that’s not the real reason, Chan.”

“Hey?!”

“Seriously, I doubt that’s the reason. What is it really that preventing you from seeing the person you love?” Changbin asked.

“I—” Chan says defeatedly, “you’re right.”

“I wasn’t scared because of that. I’m terrified of when Yu’s… going to leave me. It’s going to hurt.”

“And you think you’re not hurting right now? You really are stupid,” says Changbin.

“You didn’t have to put salt to wound, Changbin,” Chan scoffed.

“Instead of being with her you’re wallowing in your fears. Didn’t you ever think that maybe, the feeling is mutual? You are losing Nam Yu earlier than you’re supposed to. And with a lot of regret at that. What do you want Chan? To sit in what ifs and regrets or do everything with that person you love until you’ve made enough memories? Either way anyway you’re going to get hurt, stupid. Would you rather get hurt because you were afraid?”

Chan remained in silent taking all of what Changbin told him.

“You’re right Changbin.”

_____

Chan’s heart is thudding wildly on his chest as he navigates his way through the hospital. You had not been answering to his calls and texts and it was worrying him tirelessly. He felt anxious, scared, angry, it was a lot of emotions all at once. His mind won’t stop thinking of you. What if something had happened to you while he wasn’t there? It was tearing up his insides thinking about it and all he wanted to see was you.

Panting heavily, he knocked on your door and opened it only to see an empty room. This sets him to go into another wave of panic, only for a nurse to enter your room to see a helpless Chan.

“Bang Chan?” the nurse questioned. It was one of the closer nurses he’s become friends with because of you.

“Where’s Nam Yu?” he asked immediately.

“Yu’s not here,” the nurse says.

His heart started to pick up its pace at that. “What do you mean by not her?” he asks.

“Didn’t you know?” she says, “Yu’s at the hospital garden. It’s become her new favorite thing.”

Chan felt relief took over his body. Yu’s not dead. For fuck’s sake thank god Yu’s okay.

Chan thanked the nurse and left to go find you. Eventually Chan reached the hospital’s garden only to find you in your most breathtaking view.

You’re clad in warm green, a color that matches you well. You were just standing there basking under the sun as the leaves fall around you. Fall took over the garden. You look beautiful it made Chan’s chest swell with so much love that he couldn’t fathom.

You felt someone watching you so when you turned around to look at who it was, your eyes landed on an awe-stricken face of Bang Chan. A content smile made its way to your lips as if you’ve been waiting for him to get here all this time.

Chan took long strides to get to you. Heart happy to see that you’re okay.

“You’re still Yu.”

“I am Yu,” a chuckled slipped past your lips.

“I was worried. You didn’t answer of my call.”

Your eyes widened, “You called?”

“I did… and when you weren’t answering I thought you were gone,” he says biting his lips, a habit that didn’t go unnoticed whenever he felt nervous.

“I’m sorry… I just didn’t bother to charge my phone anymore,” you said walking towards him now.

Chan was crying by the time you’re finally face to face. You wiped his tears away. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying?”

Chan looked at you. Eyes boring to the window of you soul. His eyes are speaking in volumes that words couldn’t say. And you just knew what they were telling you. He held the hands on his face reveling on the warmth it gave off. Foreheads together he held you tighter. Your cheeks dusted in pink, you haven’t been this close to Chan. Forehead to forehead, nose to nose and lips almost touching. Chan pulled you closer and closer if that was even possible. It was the most endearing eskimo kiss.

“I’m sorry it took a while,” he says.

“What took a while?” you asked soft as a falling petal.

“This,” he says as he closed the remaining gap between your lips and into a warmth like the winter fires in mid-December passionate kiss. The kiss was warm and it felt like you’re being hugged in a feeling of bliss.

It was the perfect first kiss.

_____

Chan wasn’t answering to your texts again, although worrisome you trusted him. He would’ve responded now at least but you paid no mind to it anymore. Because he might be busy, after all it’s not like you’re together together, right?

It irked you when the nurses told you not to go to the garden to pass the time. They said it could take a toll on your lungs so you stayed put in your room. Well, for now. They didn’t want to risk it. You didn’t want to risk it either. But you’re so bored out of your mind now.

A nurse entered your room holding a big white box.

“What is that?” you asked when the nurse laid down the box at the foot of your bed. You noticed that you received a text and decided that the box will be dealt later and grabbed your phone.

It was a text from Chan asking if you received the box already. You told him you did. His last texts were that you should wear what’s inside the box and to come to the garden. You looked at the nurse who’s still there and opened the box to your surprise.

Confused and also curious to the reason why he made you wear this clothing; you made your way to the hospital’s garden. Chan was already waiting at you in the garden. You found Chan wearing a tuxedo. This could’ve been mistaken easily that you’re both dressed for a wedding but it wasn’t like that. It was a much more for a silly reason. When Chan sees you, he smiled. You’re clad in winter blue clothes that matched the corsage he’s holding and the tie in his suit.

Yes, prom. Bang-freaking-Chan arranged a prom for just the two of you in the small hospital garden. Why? Because you told him you never experienced prom because you were always hospitalized. So, Chan went out his way to arrange all of this for you, to experience the prom you never got to go to.

When you finally reached Chan, a small smile escaped your lips as you get a look around your surroundings. The theme was in winter, like your favorite season.

“So, what’s all this?” you asked.

“It’s your own prom,” he says and you laughed.

“You did all of this, why?” you asked. You felt your chest growing warmer to the gesture.

“You didn’t get to go to yours, so I brought it to you. You didn’t before, but I’m here now,” he says.

Everything was overwhelming. Chan just freaking arranged your own prom. You felt happy tears so you embraced him just so he won’t see that you’re slight crying from the gesture.

“I did have a little prom by myself before you know, and I was listening to Wow,” you said cheekily.

He groaned and you laughed. He parted from the hug to out the corsage on your wrist. He kissed you hands. “Really planned this out, didn’t you?” you asked.

“I did. So, do you want to get our pictures taken?” he asked as he showed you the mini photobooth.

“WAIT—there’s even a photobooth?!” you squealed in happiness and it was enough for Chan to see the happy look on your face that all his effort was appreciated. He dragged you to the booth and you booth took pictures.

The rest of the night you both did all the stuff in prom that normally you would do. You both ate, danced to your favorite song while Chan was the dj and as far as making each other King and Queen of the night. Which by the way, Chan did prepare a sash and crown.

By that time of the night you’re a laughing mess, not until Chan said, “We haven’t even had our first dance as King and Queen of the night yet!”

You giggled and took his outstretched hand as you pulled you to the center and into him. You started to sway slowly to the sound of the music. Day6’s You Were Beautiful was playing.

Your head rested on Chan’s chest, his hands on your waist as he swayed you both. A content feeling swelling to your chests. It was the feeling of being home to each other’s arms. “Are you happy?” he asked.

You smiled. Of course, you are. You’ve been the happiest with him. “More than you know,” you whispered. Chan hummed the music to your ears as he moved to pull your foreheads together. You felt your heart beating the same rhythm as his.

“Beautiful,” he sings. In that moment you really felt beautiful.

“Just the way that you would look at me,” he sings. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else.

“Was so much I’d never want to leave,” he sings as he put a fluttery kiss on my forehead.

“Hey, stay with me?” he asked.

“Is the next part you asking me to be yours? Because yes,” you said.

“You didn’t even let me ask it,” he pouted so you kissed him to get rid of it.

“Ask away,” you said.

“Will you give me the honor of being yours?” he asked.

“Of course. Ten million times over,” you said.

Chan cuddled you closer. “I love you.”

_____

“You seriously bought her a ring?” Changbin asked.

“Why not?” Chan says.

“You’re proposing? We haven’t even met her, you selfish prick,” says Changbin.

Chan laughed. “It’s just a promise ring, Changbin. And you’ll meet Yu soon. I promise,” he said.

Chan was excited to go back to Korea already because he misses you so much. Promotions were taking longer than expected and Stray Kids had to go overseas for their schedule. So, he hasn’t really seen you in a while except for a few exchanges of texts here and there.

By the time Chan was back in Korea he hurriedly got into his car and drove to the hospital to see you. Korea is unusually gloomy for today much to Chan’s dismay. Due to the weather it seems like he won’t be able to take you outside in the garden to give you the ring he bought.

A happy smile was plastered on Chan’s face. He wouldn’t wit to see you and give you the ring. It was the perfect ring. Chan jogged up to your room only to see that it was empty. All the things you had in your room was all gone, remembering one time you told him that you were moving rooms now.

A nurse entered the room and she looked at Chan sadly.

“Hey, where’s Nam Yu? Where did you guys move her?” Chan asked.

The nurse looks so down and didn’t know what to say, “Yu’s not here anymore,” she says anyway.

“Yeah, she said she was moving rooms. Can you tell me where it is?” he asked.

The nurse walked towards to one of the boxes in the room and handed it to Chan. Confused, Chan took it from the nurse.

“Yu’s gone, Chan,” she says close to tears.

“H-how long?” Chan choked out.

He knew you were getting weaker every day. He was the one who insisted that he go home for you but you insisted that he should continue working and that you’ll just wait for him to get home. But now he wished that he listened to his heart when he it said to stay beside you.

“Two days ago,” the nurse says.

“W-why, w-why did n-no one t-tell me?”

“It was Yu’s request, Chan. I’m sorry.”

And it broke him.

_____

Dear Chan,

Hi, by the time you get this I’m probably not here anymore. But I hope this letter doesn’t reach you too soon. I kept writing these good by letters every day just in case so that it wouldn’t feel like I’m leaving you so abruptly. I wish I could wipe those tears right now. It sucks I couldn’t kiss them away now and assure you that I’m never leaving you. I’m sorry I broke my promise, at least physically. I kind of believe that I will be watching over you in the other side.

I just want to thank you. For giving me another reason to fight for my life. You’re the reason I still get to write these letters. For the last couple of months, you’ve made me the happiest person in this world, Chan. Of all people I didn’t expect it to be you. But I’m glad you it’s you Chan.

Don’t feel too sad about my departure, okay? I know it’s going to be hard. But I draw comfort that you will be okay later. Thank you for giving me all these memories to cherish. Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t.

Take care of yourself for me, okay? You have to move forward now. I hope you don’t regret that you ever met me. Because I’ll never regret letting myself love you.

Aaaah I hope you don’t get these letters. I want to keep making many memories with you! But just in case anyway, right? I’ll be waiting for that dance in the next life, Channie. So, live fully in this one, okay? Keep making this world a better place.

I love you Bang Chan,

Your Yu.

_____

“Channie?” he hummed.

“I—” am so madly inlove with you, you wanted to say. ‘I hope I can tell you just how much someday’

“You what?”

“I am Yu,” you said flustered.

He smiled, “I see me in you,” he sings.


End file.
